Friday, February 27, 2009

Love, glorious love!

Define Love: is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. The word love is both a verb and a noun. Love is not a single feeling but an emotion built from two or more feelings. Anything vital to us creates more than one feeling, and we also have feelings about our feelings (and thoughts about our feelings)[1]. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

I use to be more open to love.  At some point through my adult years, i was wounded to the point of closing off the idea of using "love" in any term to anyone outside of my family.  I tell my husband and my daughter i love them daily.  But if i sign an e-mail, i say "*peace*" or "thanks" and anything other then "love". 

I notice people using it when they send e-mails to me.  And it isn't that i do not care for these people... but "love"? I am not sure that i "love" my friends in the terms that i "love" my daughter or husband. Dare i use this word to just sign a very basic e-mail to someone?  Yesterday i tested this water of signing "love" on a message to a close friend who i care for.  I would do most anything for this person... but sign messages with "love"?  

Am i placing too much of a meaning on this word now?  I have read the definition... i do "love" most all people i know.  But i do not say it in those terms.  Can you imagine if you went up to a friend and said "i love you"? they would think you were a bit nuts!  As a kid i used the term very loosely, i loved everybody!  Even if i had just met you, i loved you.  Boy, that seems like a life time ago!

So through the years of getting to know people, loss, moving, becoming distant, etc.  The pain of this word "love" have taken their toll on my use of them.  It is not that i do not feel great admiration and care for the people in my life... i am just in a struggle to use the word "love" on an every day level.  perhaps i need help?

So, this morning... i grounded my child from the phone, the internet, video games, and all things that she finds "fun" in her life.  She is 9 and having some major attitude problems.  I have been giving in on so many things these days because my stress level just could not take the "fight".  And i think that she has taken advantage of it all. So today when her butt crack was hanging out of her pants when she bent over (yes it was a funny example to start with, but it turned to anger) i politely went over to her and gave her an example of how to squat down like a lady so that she did not show the world her butt crack (which included just explaining that a simple pulling up of her pants would also help).  She gave me this *look* of "shut up!" and got frustrated with me that i pointed it out and she just kind of blew up about this little issue.  

This is just one of many examples of her attitude these days.  So today, i broke it down for her and made her aware of how she has been treating myself and her dad.  I told her that all of the things she has in her life were gifts from us: having a phone - privilege.  Having a facebook - privilege.  having a blog - privilege.  All of the things that she comes home and runs to do and doesn't even ask permission anymore... these are all things that she will have to earn back with changing her way of talking and dealing with us (her parents).  All of this at age 9.  Boy, i can't wait for age 15!

having lunch with a "new" friend today.  I've known her for years, but we have only recently become more friendly.  Sure, i make friends just 3 months before we move away.

No comments:

Post a Comment