Wednesday, June 24, 2009

a nagging need for God, in all things...

"God creates and activates a nagging dissatisfaction in every person 

for an excellent reason - a need that only He can meet" 

Breaking Free - by Beth Moore 

Is this why i feel this dissatisfaction for so many things in my life? because i have a void that only God can fill? 

I continuously seek out perfection in many areas of my life, but so many times i come up lacking. I view myself as deeply imperfect. Compliments on any level i can not take, because i never see myself as good enough to accept a compliment. Never will i measure up to the level of perfection that i deem worthy of a compliment - always room for improvement. Often times i give up because i seek such a perfection in the things that i do.  Many times it is only the criticism that i hear, and i close off the compliments.

The tree in the photo above is imperfect. it is ugly and a little bit scary. But it still grew proud and strong. it does not care what the outside world thinks or even says about it. it will continue to grow bigger and stronger until one day man cuts it down. i often times feel like this tree.  i feel like i grow in areas of my life, and then someone will cut me down to size and make me feel less than human. it is not until i let someone interfere in who i am or who i want to become that i tear myself down and see my imperfections for what they are... my imperfections.  

God created us in an imperfect way so that we could strive to become more than what we are in our life.  Seek out becoming better people, more human in our nature.  To be human is to love, is to be kind, is to be better than what we are... I am learning to open up more, to love more each day i am here in my new life.  It is a challenge every day to see my new life as less then perfect. i have found the ugly in so many things... it is time to seek out the perfection.  I am hoping that God will lend me a hand in seeing what i need to see, and to help me become what i need to become.

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