i friend recently said to me, "... I do think sometimes you have the wrong impression of me and what my life is like, like i am this cheerleader with a crew or like the leader of the Pink ladies."
it's funny because i see everyone as cooler than me! you could be the biggest dork and i still will think you are cooler than me. i do not self-promote myself. i am positive about who i am and what i do. but i never think i am great... always room for improvement. i often compliment and pump up those around me. not only because they deserve it but because i think everyone is pretty darn cool... except for me. lol its hard to put into words. i've always been this way. i am not depressive or down on myself... but i refuse to see myself for anything but what is there on the surface. just average, ordinary, me.
i do not have a posse (wow, yes i just said posse!). i do not have a strong backing of support behind me on any given day. my biggest fan is my 10 year old daughter; and i'm lucky if she understands half of what i am saying each day in my adult world. most often i am complaining about how much i hate CSS code or some goof on twitter being stupid or something on the news that is frustrating me. i do not expect a cheering team in my life. sometimes i do wish hubby was more of the "go team go" kind of guy, but its like that saying - you can't teach an old dog new tricks - yep, you can't really teach a hubby of 14 years how to be different either. as for the family, i gave up on having them in my corner years ago! i'm lucky if they don't put me down in any given conversation. So i am my own pink ladies group, except its the "blue ladies" because i can't stand pink! lol and since i refuse to pat my own back, there isn't much of a moral boosting session going on except on paper from time to time. yes, i'm lame. i write "i *heart* you" on paper just so i know that i love myself sometimes. hey, someone's gotta pump me up while i'm writing! ;-)
just so you know... i support all of YOU! whatever you think you can do, i know you can do it and i am always here for all of you!