faith and spirituality

I believe an important distinction can be made between religion and spirituality. Religion I take to be concerned with faith in the claims to salvation of one faith tradition or another. Spirituality I take to be concerned with qualities of the human spirit, love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, that bring happiness both to self and others.

- The Dali Lama

i could not have said it better myself. People often inquire in conversation, "what church do you belong to?" i never quite have an answer, and often times i feel put on the spot. i have strong values that come from many faiths. but on a whole, i consider myself more spiritual than religious. i have been part of many faiths in my lifetime, searching for that perfect fit. Each time, i found that the religion confined my beliefs. Each holding positive points of view and each one having some/many/few things that i could walk away with... but in the end i could not call myself complete while being of one set religion. Instead i am learning to be happy with not having a religion as my total base - but instead i focus on keeping myself centered in a spiritual mind.

going political for a moment here.

Can you name this man?

Do you care about his cause?

Do you care about freedom?

Would you stand with him or against him?

Would you choose to side with China to repress the people of Tibet?

Tonight i learned (read article here) that our current president cancelled a meeting with him, "to keep China happy..." This really upsets me! For more than just the fact that i still think Obama is an arrogant SOB who acts like he is a hollywood movie star and less and less like a president of the United States of America. Oh no, it's deeper than that. Human rights should never be pushed aside because they "might" (stress that word, might there) help in future talks with the Chinese Communist leader. Presidents meeting with the Dalai Lama in the past have never hurt the talks, why does he seriously think that it will help?

Why aren't more so called celebrities upset and playing their cards to come to the defense of the Buddhist nation of Tibet? Are people really so blinded by Obama's "charm" and ease of speaking skills to make waves with him? Are they afraid they might not get those tickets next time to hear him speak? There is something really wrong with the way celebrities bend to the will of this man and swoon like a schoolgirl for his so called big plans for our country. So far he has done nothing that makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You can point to Bush, Clinton, Bush (1), and on down the line all you want and say, "see... he's better because he isn't them..." But is he really? i mean, really? what has he done to date that is so great for our country? Can you name something above and beyond that he has done (followed through on to the end) that made our country better than we were before he took office... please tell me something life altering that this man has done to win you people over!

I use celebrities as the case maker here because us little people with zero pull way down here at the bottom... we can't even reach the president to have a conversation with him. I'm sure if there was a big enough celebrity calling him up saying, "dude... blowing off the Dalai Lama, that's so not cool - we're pulling our backing of you until you change your ways..." It might make him think twice before choosing Communist China over the repressed Tibet.

I am very interested in Tibet and the entire issues that surround that country. For me, it is like a personal slap in the face that Obama picked China over meeting with the Dalai Lama. He is the first president to do so. Today i am embarrassed for my country that our President did this.

a nagging need for God, in all things...

"God creates and activates a nagging dissatisfaction in every person 

for an excellent reason - a need that only He can meet" 

Breaking Free - by Beth Moore 

Is this why i feel this dissatisfaction for so many things in my life? because i have a void that only God can fill? 

I continuously seek out perfection in many areas of my life, but so many times i come up lacking. I view myself as deeply imperfect. Compliments on any level i can not take, because i never see myself as good enough to accept a compliment. Never will i measure up to the level of perfection that i deem worthy of a compliment - always room for improvement. Often times i give up because i seek such a perfection in the things that i do.  Many times it is only the criticism that i hear, and i close off the compliments.

The tree in the photo above is imperfect. it is ugly and a little bit scary. But it still grew proud and strong. it does not care what the outside world thinks or even says about it. it will continue to grow bigger and stronger until one day man cuts it down. i often times feel like this tree.  i feel like i grow in areas of my life, and then someone will cut me down to size and make me feel less than human. it is not until i let someone interfere in who i am or who i want to become that i tear myself down and see my imperfections for what they are... my imperfections.  

God created us in an imperfect way so that we could strive to become more than what we are in our life.  Seek out becoming better people, more human in our nature.  To be human is to love, is to be kind, is to be better than what we are... I am learning to open up more, to love more each day i am here in my new life.  It is a challenge every day to see my new life as less then perfect. i have found the ugly in so many things... it is time to seek out the perfection.  I am hoping that God will lend me a hand in seeing what i need to see, and to help me become what i need to become.

a profound writing...

Claire and Morgan, age 5
Ok, i give up... my head hurts from searching for the location!

I recently read an article about how we choose a friend.  I wish i could find it because it summed it up pretty well near perfect!

It has kept me thinking about the people in my life.  I tend to befriend people who are "pure of heart" and have God in their life.  Often times i have to squirm a lot because of this choice.  I am a spiritual person, but i am not a religious person.  To quickly explain: i look at religion and the church as a place for people to just "hang" out with fellow followers of the same faith.  They do a lot of good, but you have to be a believer in their same beliefs to go and fit in.  I do not follow any set religion, they all pretty much have their good and their bad in the teachings.  A lot of the "books" seem more like good stories... folklore... myths... but i can't follow a book that makes me question faith more than it makes me want to follow the faith.  When i go to churches and watch the people sway around to the music, with their hands in the air, and their eyes closed... they look like they are having some kind of episode!  I don't think there is a need to look "odd" in order to have a deep connection to God.  That's just me.

So back to my thinking on my friendships... when i find people who think more like me, i find them ODD!  I do not sit around holding crystals, chanting "om", calling a psychic, thinking i see the future, etc.  I just do not follow a set religion.  I believe in little pieces from a bunch of different faiths.  So when i tell people this, they get all... freaky, and make me uncomfortable!  But on the other hand when people i am friends with who follow a certain faith, when they realize that i have no set faith... they too make me uncomfortable by trying to convince me to join their religion!  I am not "lost" i am a believer of God.  And i don't know of any person who does belong who has their life perfectly together.  So belonging is not going to "insta-fix" me.

I've kind of gotten off topic just a bit due to the religion side.  But for me i want a friend who is good, wholesome, nice, giving, and just all around hopeful.  I typically find the people who religiously think like i do, they are downers and kind of just... pathetic on a whole!  I tend to not want to be around them too much because they bring down my chi... my mojo... my energy... my mood!  However you want to say it, i just don't find myself wanting to be around these people.  But i also do not want to shut them out because i would hate to give them more reason to be "low" in their life.  It is a fine balance between finding a peace in myself when around others and finding peace with not being around certain people.  I normally choose to just find the peace within myself, and hang out with the people who annoy me.  But recently with all that is going on in my life, i find it harder and harder to find a balance to be around certain people.  but... i'm working on it!

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soulpancake.com go there, read, speak, enjoy!

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this goes with the above website... Rainn Wilson (he plays Dwight on the Office), he was on Oprah's Spirit podcast yesterday and he was an amazing listen.  If you have iTunes and/or the desire to hear his words on his website "soulpancake" then you should give it a listen.  This also made me think about the entire first part of this blog entry.  I had never heard of the "Bahai Faith" before yesterday.  I am not a podcast listener.  Some random force yesterday made me, asked me, lured me... wanted me to listen/watch this podcast.  I'm not a huge Oprah fan, i typically do not watch her show.  But yesterday i clicked "play" and my mind was opened to a whole new world of faith out there.  It is a neat feeling to know there might be a place out there for me after all... a place that holds the beliefs and faiths of every religion and is OPEN to all religions and a place that will not look down if you do not conform to their one book :o)

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on a random extra - i took my newly "wrecked" car in to the dealer last Friday, they told me to drop my car off on Tuesday (today).  I thought i would drop it off early and they never ordered the part for my car!  So random.  But now i will be without my car on different days this week.  I'm guessing there is a reason behind it that i am just unaware of, but it still totally stinks that they goofed like that.

less is more

I have been trying to teach Claire about religions of the world through the years.  She has learned about every religion and how they work, what they worship, and etc.  Whenever someone asks her what her religion is, it has varied between the lessons of the years.  Recently she wanted to go back to learning about being Buddhist.  She had learned about it back when she was in 2nd grade.  The other day i was showing her a website (Buddha net) about some Buddhist teachings.  After reading it, she came to me in an understanding of what i had been telling her for days... "we don't "own" anything in our life... it belongs to the Earth in the end..." I had been trying to get her to donate her toys that are never played with to charity or friends or even goodwill.  She was having a hard time giving up anything.  No matter what i pointed at her answer was, "no, i need that."  I kept saying, "need or want?"  She wasn't sure how to answer that question, but would always say, "i think i need it" to which i always would give a laugh and a look to her.  But after i saw all of this lesson sink in to her, i went and read what i had already read years before, and i also came to realize that i too was trying to pack up and keep far more than i actually needed.

I have been going through every drawer, every cabinet and every shelf.  It is amazing the JUNK we keep.  I found knobs to dressers we no longer own,  but for some reason i kept the old knobs in a drawer.  I have found letters from friends that i have not heard from in several years,  and i have no reason to keep such a communication, but for some reason i felt the need to originally keep it.  There is so much stuff that is not needed!

Need.  It is a funny word.  We need food, but do we need the name brand expensive food?  We need clothes, but do we need a lot of clothes in our closet that we know we will never again wear because we forget that it is even there and when it comes time to need a certain shirt, we forget we have what we have and we buy something new anyway.   So do we need expensive clothes that will be forgotten about?  Do we need a closet (or two closets) full of clothes or just the basic clothing items of need?  We need certain things, a roof over our head, heat in the winter, food on the table, clothes on the body, and clean water.  There are i'm sure other needs, but those are the ones that come to my mind at the moment.  So as i sit here going through my many things, i have to make a choice; do i NEED that item to survive and to move out to California... or do i simply WANT the item.

Today i plan to go through the things i had already gone through with fresh eyes and see exactly what i NEED to keep and donate the things that i only want for one reason or another.