If I become a Nun...

I'm starting to wonder if i should just become a Nun?  No, seriously.  

Wait, if you are married, can you become a nun?

Let's just say you can.  Maybe with our move out to California i can become a nun. This image seems like good times!  

I like to think of myself as an average person, with lots of random quirks.  I do not eat meat, but i will not tell ANYone to stop eating meat.  It is my choice.  I do not drink a drop of alcohol, but i will not tell ANYone to not drink - ok, i tell my child "drinking is bad! just say no!"  I do not watch porn, read dirty magazines, watch horror movies, watch R rated "sex" movies, or spread dirty jokes around online.  I enjoy funny things, i just do not think that you need a pair of breasts or a couple of strangers emulating having sex in a movie to enjoy the good things in life.

I am starting to become fed up with people acting in negative ways around me and my family.  Over drinking, not funny.  Over saying the "F" word, not funny.  Sending me "sex" photos on Facebook, SO NOT FUNNY!  Sending me messages just "catching up" with me, not to mention that i don't even KNOW you as an adult and telling me about your sex life, not funny.  I will stop there, you get my point.

I should just do it, become a NUN!  Then i can just start tossing religious pamphlets at people who offend me.  Because if i have to see one more person in my life act "dirty" in front of me or me and my child... i'm gonna just stand up and draw a cross (or other religious icon) on a piece of paper and tape it to their shirt and then explain to them how they are going to burn in hell for acting the way that they do.  Go on... i dare you send me something dirty!

watcha needing?

In a magical place, in a far off land...

there is a place that has toys that are grand.

They fly on their own and speak just to you,

Won't you come along with me too?

"I don't care how....

i WANT it NOOOOOOOOW!" 

- Veruca Salt

Yep, that's more like it!  Kids want their toys and they want them now!  They do not care about the imagination of playing.  They play for a moment, and then they move on to the next new toy.  And i'm sorry, but it is the parents fault, and the parents fault alone.

We go to the store about twice a week.  Claire on a rare occasion will want to go to the video game isle to see what is new out there.  But the toy isle? nope.  When she was a baby we purchased all of her favorite toys.  If she like Toy Story, she owned every toy story character we could find.  If she liked my little ponies, our floors were covered in MLP.  You get the idea.  About 2 years ago it hit me... just like adults, if a child likes something it doesn't mean they have to own it all.  I like Converse shoes, but i only own 1 pair.  I have obsessions just like anyone and when i like something i want to buy it. That doesn't mean that i do buy it.

Me, i need a good night sleep.

i need an answer.

i need a vacation.

i need clothes for working for only 1 month.

Lost: one crazy cat

Today it has been 1 week since the cat has been seen.  She is an outside cat that lives at our house.  She stays in the garage during the cold winter months.  She gave me a really nice scar on my left arm, but i will not fault her for that ;-)

We told Claire last week that if the cat did not come back (which she normally does come back after a few days) we would take her around to look for the cat. So, today she went for a long walk with her dad, they looked around and called out "que-que", her name.  They came back without a cat.  Claire came back with tears in her eyes and fear of the unknown in her heart.

I keep expecting the cat to come running across the street... and i do not even "like" this cat like Claire does.  So i can not imagine how my sweet little 9 year old is feeling about her pet gone missing.

The harsh truth is that we would need to give the cat away when we move to California.  So the cat going missing, it is actually a small blessing for us.  I was going to look like the horrible mom when it came time to move away and we had to take the cat to a shelter.  With a house, the cat can live outside and we can see her all of the time (when she is around - which is actually quite often).  In an apartment, 3,000 miles away, the cat just would not work out for us. 

We were suppose to take the cat to my parents house a few weeks ago to live outside of their house, but my mom changed her mind and so the cat stayed here with us.  I have to wonder if she would still be around my parents house if we had taken her there?  Would she have taken off and also be missing today had we taken her there? 

Questions i have, answers i have not.  I sit her wondering how to comfort Claire about an unknown answer.  We do not know where the cat is, or if she will come back.  All i can do is comfort Claire, and tell her happier thoughts about the cat living better somewhere else.

randoms

1. Our outside cat has been "missing" since Monday.  It rained. It stormed. She went somewhere?

2. Amish people appear to always be out when we eat out, we see funny things. Yesterday there was an Amish lady on a cell phone, yelling in the middle of the restaurant, and she was wearing Converse Chuck high top shoes with a dress that only went just below her knee.

3. People who can't take "no" for an answer.  I've said "no" 4 seperate times for the same request this week. I finally just stopped answering the question.

4. When people you want to help totally "blow you off". I really do not like this.

5. I'm learning so much this week.

***

Me: i don't want to live with my parents, even for just a few weeks before we move.

Michael: it's a pride thing...

Me: yeah, i suppose it is.

Michael: you know what they say about "pride"...

Me: no.  what do they say about pride?

Michael: it's...bad.

Me: *laughing*

it's one of those, you had to be there.  But he had no "saying" for Pride other than "it's bad".

It happens that fast

Wednesday night, we had a showing on our house at 3:15.

Wednesday night - i was pumping gas - my phone rang , they made an offer at 4:15

Thursday night we signed/accepted their offer at 4:15

Tomorrow they are having the house inspected.  

My world feels upside down at the moment.

Part excitment for moving to Santa Clara.

Part frantic for moving 3,000 miles away!

Part chaos due to packing and arranging everything.

I am hopeful for it all to work out just as it is suppose to work out :o)

Who inspires you?

We all look to someone for inspiration.  Some have made the choice to follow our current President without truly getting to know the man as a President.  It is their freedom, their right to choose and i try not to fault them for finding inspiration in this man.  He has things that will inspire people to go out and create and make life better.  So i give him that credit freely.

Who inspires you?  

Do you have someone who whenever you talk, you feel invigorated and ready to take on the world to create a better world?  Someone who every time you speak, you come up with ideas and plan for things and just feel like you could do anything!  I have only a few friends like this, and i cherish their conversations.  I also have some family members that are this way for me too.  My Uncle Brad and Aunt Barb hit the mother load of amazing wonder with their kids.  Katie is an amazing thinker, Becky is an amazing designer, Susan is an amazing creator, Lauren is an amazing dreamer, and James is just amazing at it all.  I love talking with each of these cousins.  I have more who inspire me, but that one family - i have often wished i grew up in their house.

I often wonder if our house is a place of creation for Claire.  We do love our crafts!  But i know my Aunt and Uncle raised their 5 children to be open, honest, and creative in all aspects of their life.  If they wanted to act, they acted.  If they wanted to paint, they painted.  There was never a "no" or a squashing of any of their dreams.  I've never squashed a dream of Claire's (that i know of), but i still hope that she feels inspired in this house.

I use to draw, i use to paint, i use to do so much more creative things than i do now.  I take the time to check e-mail and end up blogging, facebooking, twittering, etc.  I sometimes think that if i were to just turn the computer OFF after the morning checking of e-mail and things... i would have a more productive day! 

One day... i will balance my time better.  Be able to go back to creating more and being online or busy less.  I miss being creative.

a profound writing...

Claire and Morgan, age 5
Ok, i give up... my head hurts from searching for the location!

I recently read an article about how we choose a friend.  I wish i could find it because it summed it up pretty well near perfect!

It has kept me thinking about the people in my life.  I tend to befriend people who are "pure of heart" and have God in their life.  Often times i have to squirm a lot because of this choice.  I am a spiritual person, but i am not a religious person.  To quickly explain: i look at religion and the church as a place for people to just "hang" out with fellow followers of the same faith.  They do a lot of good, but you have to be a believer in their same beliefs to go and fit in.  I do not follow any set religion, they all pretty much have their good and their bad in the teachings.  A lot of the "books" seem more like good stories... folklore... myths... but i can't follow a book that makes me question faith more than it makes me want to follow the faith.  When i go to churches and watch the people sway around to the music, with their hands in the air, and their eyes closed... they look like they are having some kind of episode!  I don't think there is a need to look "odd" in order to have a deep connection to God.  That's just me.

So back to my thinking on my friendships... when i find people who think more like me, i find them ODD!  I do not sit around holding crystals, chanting "om", calling a psychic, thinking i see the future, etc.  I just do not follow a set religion.  I believe in little pieces from a bunch of different faiths.  So when i tell people this, they get all... freaky, and make me uncomfortable!  But on the other hand when people i am friends with who follow a certain faith, when they realize that i have no set faith... they too make me uncomfortable by trying to convince me to join their religion!  I am not "lost" i am a believer of God.  And i don't know of any person who does belong who has their life perfectly together.  So belonging is not going to "insta-fix" me.

I've kind of gotten off topic just a bit due to the religion side.  But for me i want a friend who is good, wholesome, nice, giving, and just all around hopeful.  I typically find the people who religiously think like i do, they are downers and kind of just... pathetic on a whole!  I tend to not want to be around them too much because they bring down my chi... my mojo... my energy... my mood!  However you want to say it, i just don't find myself wanting to be around these people.  But i also do not want to shut them out because i would hate to give them more reason to be "low" in their life.  It is a fine balance between finding a peace in myself when around others and finding peace with not being around certain people.  I normally choose to just find the peace within myself, and hang out with the people who annoy me.  But recently with all that is going on in my life, i find it harder and harder to find a balance to be around certain people.  but... i'm working on it!

***

soulpancake.com go there, read, speak, enjoy!

** 

this goes with the above website... Rainn Wilson (he plays Dwight on the Office), he was on Oprah's Spirit podcast yesterday and he was an amazing listen.  If you have iTunes and/or the desire to hear his words on his website "soulpancake" then you should give it a listen.  This also made me think about the entire first part of this blog entry.  I had never heard of the "Bahai Faith" before yesterday.  I am not a podcast listener.  Some random force yesterday made me, asked me, lured me... wanted me to listen/watch this podcast.  I'm not a huge Oprah fan, i typically do not watch her show.  But yesterday i clicked "play" and my mind was opened to a whole new world of faith out there.  It is a neat feeling to know there might be a place out there for me after all... a place that holds the beliefs and faiths of every religion and is OPEN to all religions and a place that will not look down if you do not conform to their one book :o)

*

on a random extra - i took my newly "wrecked" car in to the dealer last Friday, they told me to drop my car off on Tuesday (today).  I thought i would drop it off early and they never ordered the part for my car!  So random.  But now i will be without my car on different days this week.  I'm guessing there is a reason behind it that i am just unaware of, but it still totally stinks that they goofed like that.