riding along, clueless, in the sunshine.

Skate

at some point in life, probably when we feel like it's almost a little too late, we see ourselves for who we really are in life. we notice all of the things that we love and we ignore all of the little things that might have use to matter to us. we stop taking for granted the things that should be noticed. we find out all of the things that make us different than everyone else, and we embellish those traits for the bettering of not only our life but if we are lucky enough, for bettering the life of someone we love.

although the bees are still attacking my window today, so the breeze that i long for isn't flowing next to me as i write, sparking my desire to really write... i feel that i need that kind of an awakening inside of me. i need to stop writing in fear of the who might be reading. i need to open up my blog for the world to see and you can take me for who i am... the good, the bad, and the often ugly!

i realized that i write better when the air is fresh, clean, and blowing freely around me. i use to find this time in the car. you see i had this amazing peaceful alone time for at least 45 minutes a day when i would wait in my car for Claire to be done with school. it wasn't a momentous time, but it was all mine. i miss that free time. but it is time to realize that those times are gone. we live here now. i have no true alone time in our tiny apartment, and i need to adapt. this is me adapting. watch out world!

who's your cheering team?

i friend recently said to me, "... I do think sometimes you have the wrong impression of me and what my life is like, like i am this cheerleader with a crew or like the leader of the Pink ladies."

it's funny because i see everyone as cooler than me! you could be the biggest dork and i still will think you are cooler than me. i do not self-promote myself. i am positive about who i am and what i do. but i never think i am great... always room for improvement. i often compliment and pump up those around me. not only because they deserve it but because i think everyone is pretty darn cool... except for me. lol its hard to put into words. i've always been this way. i am not depressive or down on myself... but i refuse to see myself for anything but what is there on the surface. just average, ordinary, me.

i do not have a posse (wow, yes i just said posse!). i do not have a strong backing of support behind me on any given day. my biggest fan is my 10 year old daughter; and i'm lucky if she understands half of what i am saying each day in my adult world. most often i am complaining about how much i hate CSS code or some goof on twitter being stupid or something on the news that is frustrating me. i do not expect a cheering team in my life. sometimes i do wish hubby was more of the "go team go" kind of guy, but its like that saying - you can't teach an old dog new tricks - yep, you can't really teach a hubby of 14 years how to be different either. as for the family, i gave up on having them in my corner years ago! i'm lucky if they don't put me down in any given conversation. So i am my own pink ladies group, except its the "blue ladies" because i can't stand pink! lol and since i refuse to pat my own back, there isn't much of a moral boosting session going on except on paper from time to time. yes, i'm lame. i write "i *heart* you" on paper just so i know that i love myself sometimes. hey, someone's gotta pump me up while i'm writing! ;-)

just so you know... i support all of YOU! whatever you think you can do, i know you can do it and i am always here for all of you!

a breath of fresh Smog.

Smog

you know the kind of air you can taste? like when you walk past some place baking fresh bread and you can almost feel the taste of the bread in your mouth... that's how i would describe the thick smog. Only it doesn't taste like yummy fresh bread. it feels like your mouth is sitting inside of a bowl of sand and no matter how much you drink your mouth can't escape that feeling of grit. It's bad out today, i can not breathe as easily as i did yesterday and my sinus' are a not making my head hurt any less. this is the first day you look outside our window and it is almost as if there are no hills at all. they've almost been erased by the smog.

i hate smog. but at least the sun is still shining through the thickness of the air today!

choices that are worth more.

if we had not moved, Claire would be starting 5th grade back in the mid-west with all of her friends. She is currently still in bed and i do not want to wake her up. I know it is going to be a long and sad day for her today. It had not really hit her or effected her that we moved far away from her known world. She spoke daily, and for hours and hours at a time on the phone with her friends back home. Today will be the first true test of her not being able to reach out to her friends whenever she feels like it throughout the day and evening. Due to the 3 hour time difference she can't call them at 9pm because it is midnight there. Now that they all have an early bed time for school, she won't be able to call past 5 pm our time. that is like forever in 10 year old world... that time from 5-9 pm!

We all voted "yes" as a family (i was the only one left on the "no/maybe" side, so i changed to yes) to move to California. And on many levels it has been an amazing choice for her life experiences. i think today is just one of those days that i feel sad for a choice made that strongly effects my child.

pet peeves were never meant to be pets.

my scribbles

peeve (pv)
tr.v. peeved, peev·ing, peeves

To cause to be annoyed or resentful. See Synonyms at annoy.

1. A vexation; a grievance.

2. A resentful mood: in a peeve about the delays.

to irritate or annoy: the way he looked at her peeved her

Today i am realizing a new peeve of mine... the miss-use of simple words online. i would never pass myself off as an English scholar or someone who has perfect spelling and grammar. i do not like to capitalize my "i" when i type, so i should really be the last person to have such a complaint... but here it is just the same.

Write:

i like to write. it is not right, nor is it wright.

Too:

i like this too! it is not to, nor is it two.

They're

They're sitting over by me. it is not there, nor is it their.

Do you see the pattern?

Yes, it is easy to mistake some uses of words. to be perfectly honest, "who or whom" has always confused me just a bit.

So please, i implore you to take a second when you are typing up your tweets, your status updates, and your messages to me... take this moment to reflect on your spelling of words. After all, we are only our words online. What you see is what you get in this world of first impressions.

thank you in advance!

something found

i simply adore when places get creative! Not only is this a great way to recycle paper, but it is so cute!

returning to the new home again.

along the way we saw a Dinosaur.

And Mount Rushmore.

Each time i travel across this great country of ours i am humbled by just how majestic it truly is and how different each state can be. The trip home i made mental notes along the way of things i wanted to share. Some are good, some are bad, and some are funny. You be the judge of the country yourself... i implore you to all go on a road trip. Go out there and see just how amazing each state really and truly is on the open road. Anyway, here are just a few observations...

1. Music stations on I-80 are old school. and i am thankful for any music!
2. People who look like they'd clog a toilet, are the ones who do clog it!
3. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are on a new time, the old original time wins out.
4. America really is beautiful and more people should trek out to see it.
5. There are actually towns, with signs and everything, that are population 1.
6. Mt. Rushmore seems like it might be "lame" and just faces on rocks, but it truely is majestic and a must see!
7. Not all places need 101 billboards leading up to their exit, let's think or re-think our signage overload America!
8. When you really need to pee, I mean really bad, you still should never under any circumstances stop in Sinclair Wyoming.
9. VW Jetta. What can I say? You are not a great car.
10. America is "under construction".... Everywhere!
11. I am thankful for the speed limit of 75 mph. More states should have this!
12. I like having a bed to sleep in, although the car does save us money, nothing beats a bed and FREE breakfast!
13. Did I mention how beautiful America is? yes, well go see more of it!
14. Who pays $3.89 for a 12oz pop? Oh that would be me at several gas stations. Because they can charge that much and we will all pay it!
15. I am thankful for healthy ears in all menbers of my family thus trip. No ear infections, yes!
16. People should be more aware that they are in the passing lane.
17. There are no words to describe the horrible road conditions in the California Mountains. You know that noise you can make with your voice when you're on something bumpy? yeah, that gets annoying and old after about 1 mile... but the bad road continues on for the entire mountain journey!
18. Immediately after exiting the California mountains... it's 4 lanes of traffic that never, ever end.
19. i have car control issues. its a work in progress... either that or hubby really can not drive well.
20. Wherever home is... there is no place like it!