something found

i simply adore when places get creative! Not only is this a great way to recycle paper, but it is so cute!

returning to the new home again.

along the way we saw a Dinosaur.

And Mount Rushmore.

Each time i travel across this great country of ours i am humbled by just how majestic it truly is and how different each state can be. The trip home i made mental notes along the way of things i wanted to share. Some are good, some are bad, and some are funny. You be the judge of the country yourself... i implore you to all go on a road trip. Go out there and see just how amazing each state really and truly is on the open road. Anyway, here are just a few observations...

1. Music stations on I-80 are old school. and i am thankful for any music!
2. People who look like they'd clog a toilet, are the ones who do clog it!
3. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are on a new time, the old original time wins out.
4. America really is beautiful and more people should trek out to see it.
5. There are actually towns, with signs and everything, that are population 1.
6. Mt. Rushmore seems like it might be "lame" and just faces on rocks, but it truely is majestic and a must see!
7. Not all places need 101 billboards leading up to their exit, let's think or re-think our signage overload America!
8. When you really need to pee, I mean really bad, you still should never under any circumstances stop in Sinclair Wyoming.
9. VW Jetta. What can I say? You are not a great car.
10. America is "under construction".... Everywhere!
11. I am thankful for the speed limit of 75 mph. More states should have this!
12. I like having a bed to sleep in, although the car does save us money, nothing beats a bed and FREE breakfast!
13. Did I mention how beautiful America is? yes, well go see more of it!
14. Who pays $3.89 for a 12oz pop? Oh that would be me at several gas stations. Because they can charge that much and we will all pay it!
15. I am thankful for healthy ears in all menbers of my family thus trip. No ear infections, yes!
16. People should be more aware that they are in the passing lane.
17. There are no words to describe the horrible road conditions in the California Mountains. You know that noise you can make with your voice when you're on something bumpy? yeah, that gets annoying and old after about 1 mile... but the bad road continues on for the entire mountain journey!
18. Immediately after exiting the California mountains... it's 4 lanes of traffic that never, ever end.
19. i have car control issues. its a work in progress... either that or hubby really can not drive well.
20. Wherever home is... there is no place like it!

saying Goodbye.

July 2, 1927 - July 2, 2009

There comes a point in time when a loved one dies and we just do not know what to do with the information. We all have a birth, we all have a death. No matter how much we fight death, no matter how much we prolong life with drugs and plastic surgeries, in the end... we are all faced with the same end, we die. My Grandfathers end came today. And although we expected it would come eventually because he had been in the hospital since last September, we did not realize it was coming today.

10 Things i remember about my grandfather:
1. he threw me into the pool at 6 weeks old and i learned to swim!
2. i wrecked his garage with a car when i was only 6 months old.
3. he loved mushroom hunting!
4. he came around with bushels of veggies and my mom would can them.
5. he was a really hard worker.
6. he loved the Cubs!
7. when i was really little, i always had "dirty" ears, with money behind them!
8. he loved that the family got together every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
9. he was very good to my mom.
10. he will be very missed.

I love you Grandpa, i will miss seeing you at the holidays. i hope that wherever you are, you have amazing seats to every Cubs game!

that new feeling...

Remember when something is new, everything about it is... amazing!  You could sit all day and be with it. You love the smell, you love to watch/play with it. You just can't take your eyes away or your hands off of the new item.  Eventually the "newness" wares off and you either forget about the item, use it from time to time, or something even more magical happens... you cherish the item forever and ever as a keepsake item.

For some reason this morning i was thinking about Jon and Kate (+ their 8!) and wondering about marriage.  It is like a new toy when you are a child. You get it, you love it and then you forget that it even exists.  This paper that we all sign saying that we are legally together forever.  Forever is a really long time considering how we are all brought up in our childhood.

Think about all of the toys we give our children. Each holiday (Starting with Easter, then birthday's, then Halloween, then Christmas and in between there are even more tiny gifts) you give your child a gift.  They love this NEW item. They play with it for the day, maybe a week, if you are lucky they never let it leave their side for about a month! But eventually they are given a NEW gift and the older "new" gift gets left in the dust.

Parents are the creators of all things glorious in a child's life. They give them life, they give them shelter, they give them knowledge, but they also give them crap!  

If you follow my blog you know i gave up a lot to move to California.  It was easier than i thought but it was really hard for Claire to give up the toys that she loved.  Which brings me back to my point of sticking it out (yeah, it's up there in the mess of what i wrote somewhere lol).  I think i did something good, but part of me is wondering if i did something bad... horrible even when i told my child that her things were just that "things" and it didn't really matter to keep on to them in life.  

Before i ramble on any further, i just want to say... cherish every single thing you have, be it something new to love or someone new to love or just loving life.

a tiny piece of you...

i feel like a ticket,

that's never been used.

a piece of paper,

that you lose.

a wonderful melody,

that you let die.

a beautiful flower,

that you walk on by.

what am i to you?

a nagging need for God, in all things...

"God creates and activates a nagging dissatisfaction in every person 

for an excellent reason - a need that only He can meet" 

Breaking Free - by Beth Moore 

Is this why i feel this dissatisfaction for so many things in my life? because i have a void that only God can fill? 

I continuously seek out perfection in many areas of my life, but so many times i come up lacking. I view myself as deeply imperfect. Compliments on any level i can not take, because i never see myself as good enough to accept a compliment. Never will i measure up to the level of perfection that i deem worthy of a compliment - always room for improvement. Often times i give up because i seek such a perfection in the things that i do.  Many times it is only the criticism that i hear, and i close off the compliments.

The tree in the photo above is imperfect. it is ugly and a little bit scary. But it still grew proud and strong. it does not care what the outside world thinks or even says about it. it will continue to grow bigger and stronger until one day man cuts it down. i often times feel like this tree.  i feel like i grow in areas of my life, and then someone will cut me down to size and make me feel less than human. it is not until i let someone interfere in who i am or who i want to become that i tear myself down and see my imperfections for what they are... my imperfections.  

God created us in an imperfect way so that we could strive to become more than what we are in our life.  Seek out becoming better people, more human in our nature.  To be human is to love, is to be kind, is to be better than what we are... I am learning to open up more, to love more each day i am here in my new life.  It is a challenge every day to see my new life as less then perfect. i have found the ugly in so many things... it is time to seek out the perfection.  I am hoping that God will lend me a hand in seeing what i need to see, and to help me become what i need to become.

leaning over and learning to overcome fears...

i am always one to follow rules... ALL of the rules!

i do not pee in public for a reason, not that i would... but geesh, it's a rule people!

So today when i disobeyed the signs saying "no parking at ANY time" to pull over to take this photo... 

my heart was racing, i was so afraid that i would be caught and hauled off to jail for taking a photo.

obviously nothing happened; and in fact several people pulled over in front of me to do the same thing.  They were much quicker than i was about jumping out of their car running up to the edge, snapping a photo and then racing back onto the road.  i stood there, i lingered just a bit and i took a few photos. After a moment i was not afraid of the rules posted right above my head.  But i was afraid of the heights of where i was standing.  i have a terrible fear of heights! 

But today, i stood close to the edge, and i took my photos. 

it felt good.