Growing up and changing the people we hang with

Ellie on Cougar Town

Do you ever watch a movie or a TV show and feel like you could almost be watching your own life in some small ways? I can relate to several TV characters, but a few of them i kind of don't like that i relate to them. It would be nice if i was exactly like Mary Poppins or Laura Petrie... but i'm not. Although i do have an overly perky side, that side is more like Monica on Friends or Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. It doesn't come out that often and when it does it comes off as a bit spazish.

One of our favorite TV shows is Cougar Town. We were watching THIS episode the other night on hulu.com and Claire said, "you're kind of like Ellie, mom." At first i was like, "what the what?!" because Ellie is a mean spirited person who lives to cut people down and says mean things to people's faces. And this is totally NOT who i am at all. I might make snide comments about people i do not like, but only to my husband and never to anyone else and certainly never to their face. So I inquired a bit more, and it wasn't because Ellie was mean, but it was because Ellie cuts people out of her life when she no longer likes them.

This made me think... is it wrong to cut people out of your life when things go wrong? I for one think it makes life much more pleasant. It is much easier to spend your time with people you love, then people you just have to tolerate because they annoy or offend you. So i guess in this way, i am just like Ellie.

But the thing about cutting a friend out of your life is this... if you have mutual friends or people who know that you were friends with a certain person, you always get that question, "hey, do you ever talk to {insert name of friend here}? how are they?" To which you can either answer: a. No. and leave it at that. b. no, have you? OR C. Nope, they were a cold hearted bitch, so i cut them out of my life.

The problem with friendships breaking up is that most people in society think it is wrong. That friends should last forever and bend over to make the friendship work. Unlike boyfriend breakups, with those you just have to say "we broke up" and most people will just tell you they are sorry and let it go. Some might dig deeper and ask why, but you normally just have to say, "he was a tool" and they will agree and move on. But with friendships, people don't understand when you say you moved on or grew apart or even when you say that the person was a user. They always will say, "oh, i'm sure you can still work things out. you guys were such good friends" As if to say it is OK to have a continued hurting if it is a friendship, because again... friendships are suppose to last forever.

Ok, i'm putting out there people who i have cut out of my life and the reasons why. Just like Ellie did in the end of that episode:

pre school:

1. her mom wouldn't let her play with Barbies, because her mom was a feminist. so i didn't have her over for play dates anymore. i was 4, and i liked playing with barbies.

elementary school:
none.

jr high:
none.

high school:
1. turned her back on me when i was dealing with being Anorexic and also sided with my ex-boyfriend when he was stalking me and making my life hell.

2. same as 1 + she was a horrible liar and gossip who had her head stuck far up 1's ass.

college:
none.

adult:
1. 100% crazy. she stalked a guy i was working for. When i found out i confronted her and she went off the deep end. At the time i had a 3 year old, and i didn't need a crazy lady in my life.

2. pushy, clingy, and the more i learn, she's a bit off her rocker.

3. i was lied to a lot and felt like i was being used on many, many occasions.

If i were to compare that list with boyfriends that i dated {during the same span of my life} and then cut out of my life... the boyfriends by far beat out the friends. But it is perfectly acceptable in society to remove a boyfriend from your life once things go wrong. It is not however seen as perfectly acceptable to remove a friend. No matter how crazy they were or how much your feelings were being hurt... people still place a negative spin on removing friends.

what do you think? is it unacceptable to cut a person out of your life when they are your friend? Or should you just smile and keep up appearances for the sake of society telling you to do so? I think life is way too short to put up with dealing with people if they aren't on your side. If they do not truly have your back, or if they only see an opportunity in you... to use you for something other than friendship - then cut them out and don't worry about what society thinks. If it is a small squabble or things can actually be mended... then mend them. Figure out for yourself if your time is better spent with people you enjoy and enjoy you back or if it is better to just put on a fake smile and put up with people who you do not enjoy. In the end, the choice really is yours.

i happily take the persona of Ellie when it comes to living life for me, and not to please society's socially acceptable lifestyle choices.

::WHITE::

some beautiful found white images...

{above images by Susanna Vento}

{above images by Beth Galton}

Are American's full of themselves?

Without having cable Tv anymore in our house, i heavily rely on the internet to give me my information. Many other Americans do the same by use of their iPhone, blackberry's, and even their office computers. We can not sit around getting updates via the Tv like we use to... we are more mobile than ever before in our history. And knowledge is on the go with us.

Which brings me to why i think American's are a bit full of themselves and have no idea what it means to protest for things that they truly need. Don't get me wrong... protests for women's equality and the right to vote in the 1920's, the civil rights movement in the 60's, and even the protests for the War to end in the 60's. All good and nobel things. Without those movements, our country might very well be stuck just like the countries in the middle east... stuck treating women like they are less than equal. Judging people by the color of their skin, their religion, and etc. We've come a long way in our country... but some of those advances in equality have made people feel like they DESERVE to get something for nothing. These people equate having Freedom with their right to have it all.

Imagine how the people in Egypt feel seeing the people in Wisconsin protest and claim all over the news that they are a revolt just like those happening in the Middle East and Asia. What exactly do those in Wisconsin have to protest for? The ability to earn more money? And while they are all protesting... they still have the use of their phones, their twitter, their facebook, and their internet usage on their phones... unlike in Egypt and Bahrain, Iran, and China, and many places around the globe who have been protesting over the last few months. The protesters in America aren't being shot at, they aren't being pushed or shoved by police, they aren't being arrested for just being there... they have their freedom to protest and they are taking advantage of it for something most Americans already live without and do not even care about. There are doctors in the crowd handing out excuses to get people out of work so that they can protest. I'm not certain, but i'm pretty sure that would only happen in America. Most other countries hide who they are when they protest so they are not harmed, and to keep their families safe.

Would these people protesting in Wisconsin still be there if they were being shot at? What if they were being beaten by police? What if their families lives were put in the line of danger all because of their wanting to protest for their ability to earn more money? I mean, who protests for money? I can see protesting for civil rights, the right to vote, the right for clean water, the right for freedom and any other human right... but Union rights? i've never understood Unions or their bully tactics. There is a reason why throughout history and in movies people who are the heads of Unions are related to Mob's or Crime syndicates. Unions are not the answer, they are the problem.

I am all for standing up for what is right in the world. I support many causes that promote a healthy way of protesting and getting things done to make the world a better place. But there is something wrong in the way that the people of Wisconsin are going about doing what they are doing. There is something not right with the people of Wisconsin being compared to the people of Egypt and Morocco, and Iran, and China, and all of the protests that are taking place around the globe for true reasons.

i think this is a great example of why the people around the world look at Americans and say we are Selfish, arrogant, full of ourselves kind of a nation. We have been taking advantage of our own free system for so many years that we have forgotten what it means to not be free. To not have the things that others go without daily in their lives. it makes me kind of sick, and a little sad to think that people all over the world are being denied basic human rights... and we have people in our country who are fighting over some really stupid things.