Next year i plan to do this event again... only we'll be out in California! I wonder if they have outside events on the beach or overlooking the Golden Gate bridge that we can take part in next year? That will be fun searching for a new adventure in celebrating Earth Hour next year :o)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
We learned about Earth Hour last year, in it's second year of being something to take part in. We celebrated last year and again this year, it's so much fun! However, I did not plan ahead and realized that i had packed up or donated away almost all of my candles! I was able to find some old canning jars, and some tea lights... but it was not enough light. I recently got some Soy candles from a friend... but i did not want to burn them just yet. I eventually broke down and ended up burning one of them in the kitchen.
We all age... you can't stop it. From the moment you go from the stage of "egg and sperm" you are growing older. I sit back in awe of my daughter every day. She is growing up to be such a beautiful little lady. As i watch her growing up... i see myself growing older. It was not until last year that i looked in the mirror and thought "ah crap.... i see wrinkles!" And with all of the stress of the last year, the signs of aging are growing more and more everyday. Why 30's why!?
Go on, click and read the link above. And then do the little age in the mirror test. Hold a mirror above your head, look up - that is what you use to look like 5 years ago! Hold a mirror below your head - that is what you will look like in 5 years! I need an intervention now... i don't want to look like an old lady in 5 years!
I know we can't go backwards, but it would be amazing to be a kid again, even for just a day. To run and play and not worry about "signs of aging" but being excited about getting older with each and every day. When i was younger i loved to play sports... as an adult, well to be blunt - large breasts keep me from running around and playing like a child. Sure i could pay $20,000 and have a reduction... but at the risk of infections and changing the way that God created me, i choose to just stay the way that i am today. But i often wonder how different i would be in life if i was still able to run and play sports like i use to love to do in life.
Today i am searching for an organic lotion, treatment, something to just give my face that youthful glow again. I'm feeling old today.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I'm starting to wonder if i should just become a Nun? No, seriously.
Wait, if you are married, can you become a nun?
Let's just say you can. Maybe with our move out to California i can become a nun. This image seems like good times!
I like to think of myself as an average person, with lots of random quirks. I do not eat meat, but i will not tell ANYone to stop eating meat. It is my choice. I do not drink a drop of alcohol, but i will not tell ANYone to not drink - ok, i tell my child "drinking is bad! just say no!" I do not watch porn, read dirty magazines, watch horror movies, watch R rated "sex" movies, or spread dirty jokes around online. I enjoy funny things, i just do not think that you need a pair of breasts or a couple of strangers emulating having sex in a movie to enjoy the good things in life.
I am starting to become fed up with people acting in negative ways around me and my family. Over drinking, not funny. Over saying the "F" word, not funny. Sending me "sex" photos on Facebook, SO NOT FUNNY! Sending me messages just "catching up" with me, not to mention that i don't even KNOW you as an adult and telling me about your sex life, not funny. I will stop there, you get my point.
I should just do it, become a NUN! Then i can just start tossing religious pamphlets at people who offend me. Because if i have to see one more person in my life act "dirty" in front of me or me and my child... i'm gonna just stand up and draw a cross (or other religious icon) on a piece of paper and tape it to their shirt and then explain to them how they are going to burn in hell for acting the way that they do. Go on... i dare you send me something dirty!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
In a magical place, in a far off land...
there is a place that has toys that are grand.
They fly on their own and speak just to you,
Won't you come along with me too?
"I don't care how....
i WANT it NOOOOOOOOW!"
- Veruca Salt
Yep, that's more like it! Kids want their toys and they want them now! They do not care about the imagination of playing. They play for a moment, and then they move on to the next new toy. And i'm sorry, but it is the parents fault, and the parents fault alone.
We go to the store about twice a week. Claire on a rare occasion will want to go to the video game isle to see what is new out there. But the toy isle? nope. When she was a baby we purchased all of her favorite toys. If she like Toy Story, she owned every toy story character we could find. If she liked my little ponies, our floors were covered in MLP. You get the idea. About 2 years ago it hit me... just like adults, if a child likes something it doesn't mean they have to own it all. I like Converse shoes, but i only own 1 pair. I have obsessions just like anyone and when i like something i want to buy it. That doesn't mean that i do buy it.
Me, i need a good night sleep.
i need an answer.
i need a vacation.
i need clothes for working for only 1 month.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Today it has been 1 week since the cat has been seen. She is an outside cat that lives at our house. She stays in the garage during the cold winter months. She gave me a really nice scar on my left arm, but i will not fault her for that ;-)
We told Claire last week that if the cat did not come back (which she normally does come back after a few days) we would take her around to look for the cat. So, today she went for a long walk with her dad, they looked around and called out "que-que", her name. They came back without a cat. Claire came back with tears in her eyes and fear of the unknown in her heart.
I keep expecting the cat to come running across the street... and i do not even "like" this cat like Claire does. So i can not imagine how my sweet little 9 year old is feeling about her pet gone missing.
The harsh truth is that we would need to give the cat away when we move to California. So the cat going missing, it is actually a small blessing for us. I was going to look like the horrible mom when it came time to move away and we had to take the cat to a shelter. With a house, the cat can live outside and we can see her all of the time (when she is around - which is actually quite often). In an apartment, 3,000 miles away, the cat just would not work out for us.
We were suppose to take the cat to my parents house a few weeks ago to live outside of their house, but my mom changed her mind and so the cat stayed here with us. I have to wonder if she would still be around my parents house if we had taken her there? Would she have taken off and also be missing today had we taken her there?
Questions i have, answers i have not. I sit her wondering how to comfort Claire about an unknown answer. We do not know where the cat is, or if she will come back. All i can do is comfort Claire, and tell her happier thoughts about the cat living better somewhere else.
Friday, March 13, 2009
1. Our outside cat has been "missing" since Monday. It rained. It stormed. She went somewhere?
2. Amish people appear to always be out when we eat out, we see funny things. Yesterday there was an Amish lady on a cell phone, yelling in the middle of the restaurant, and she was wearing Converse Chuck high top shoes with a dress that only went just below her knee.
3. People who can't take "no" for an answer. I've said "no" 4 seperate times for the same request this week. I finally just stopped answering the question.
4. When people you want to help totally "blow you off". I really do not like this.
5. I'm learning so much this week.
Me: i don't want to live with my parents, even for just a few weeks before we move.
Michael: it's a pride thing...
Me: yeah, i suppose it is.
Michael: you know what they say about "pride"...
Me: no. what do they say about pride?
it's one of those, you had to be there. But he had no "saying" for Pride other than "it's bad".
Wednesday night, we had a showing on our house at 3:15.
Wednesday night - i was pumping gas - my phone rang , they made an offer at 4:15
Thursday night we signed/accepted their offer at 4:15
Tomorrow they are having the house inspected.
My world feels upside down at the moment.
Part excitment for moving to Santa Clara.
Part frantic for moving 3,000 miles away!
Part chaos due to packing and arranging everything.
I am hopeful for it all to work out just as it is suppose to work out :o)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
We all look to someone for inspiration. Some have made the choice to follow our current President without truly getting to know the man as a President. It is their freedom, their right to choose and i try not to fault them for finding inspiration in this man. He has things that will inspire people to go out and create and make life better. So i give him that credit freely.
Who inspires you?
Do you have someone who whenever you talk, you feel invigorated and ready to take on the world to create a better world? Someone who every time you speak, you come up with ideas and plan for things and just feel like you could do anything! I have only a few friends like this, and i cherish their conversations. I also have some family members that are this way for me too. My Uncle Brad and Aunt Barb hit the mother load of amazing wonder with their kids. Katie is an amazing thinker, Becky is an amazing designer, Susan is an amazing creator, Lauren is an amazing dreamer, and James is just amazing at it all. I love talking with each of these cousins. I have more who inspire me, but that one family - i have often wished i grew up in their house.
I often wonder if our house is a place of creation for Claire. We do love our crafts! But i know my Aunt and Uncle raised their 5 children to be open, honest, and creative in all aspects of their life. If they wanted to act, they acted. If they wanted to paint, they painted. There was never a "no" or a squashing of any of their dreams. I've never squashed a dream of Claire's (that i know of), but i still hope that she feels inspired in this house.
I use to draw, i use to paint, i use to do so much more creative things than i do now. I take the time to check e-mail and end up blogging, facebooking, twittering, etc. I sometimes think that if i were to just turn the computer OFF after the morning checking of e-mail and things... i would have a more productive day!
One day... i will balance my time better. Be able to go back to creating more and being online or busy less. I miss being creative.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Claire and Morgan, age 5
Ok, i give up... my head hurts from searching for the location!
Ok, i give up... my head hurts from searching for the location!
I recently read an article about how we choose a friend. I wish i could find it because it summed it up pretty well near perfect!
It has kept me thinking about the people in my life. I tend to befriend people who are "pure of heart" and have God in their life. Often times i have to squirm a lot because of this choice. I am a spiritual person, but i am not a religious person. To quickly explain: i look at religion and the church as a place for people to just "hang" out with fellow followers of the same faith. They do a lot of good, but you have to be a believer in their same beliefs to go and fit in. I do not follow any set religion, they all pretty much have their good and their bad in the teachings. A lot of the "books" seem more like good stories... folklore... myths... but i can't follow a book that makes me question faith more than it makes me want to follow the faith. When i go to churches and watch the people sway around to the music, with their hands in the air, and their eyes closed... they look like they are having some kind of episode! I don't think there is a need to look "odd" in order to have a deep connection to God. That's just me.
So back to my thinking on my friendships... when i find people who think more like me, i find them ODD! I do not sit around holding crystals, chanting "om", calling a psychic, thinking i see the future, etc. I just do not follow a set religion. I believe in little pieces from a bunch of different faiths. So when i tell people this, they get all... freaky, and make me uncomfortable! But on the other hand when people i am friends with who follow a certain faith, when they realize that i have no set faith... they too make me uncomfortable by trying to convince me to join their religion! I am not "lost" i am a believer of God. And i don't know of any person who does belong who has their life perfectly together. So belonging is not going to "insta-fix" me.
I've kind of gotten off topic just a bit due to the religion side. But for me i want a friend who is good, wholesome, nice, giving, and just all around hopeful. I typically find the people who religiously think like i do, they are downers and kind of just... pathetic on a whole! I tend to not want to be around them too much because they bring down my chi... my mojo... my energy... my mood! However you want to say it, i just don't find myself wanting to be around these people. But i also do not want to shut them out because i would hate to give them more reason to be "low" in their life. It is a fine balance between finding a peace in myself when around others and finding peace with not being around certain people. I normally choose to just find the peace within myself, and hang out with the people who annoy me. But recently with all that is going on in my life, i find it harder and harder to find a balance to be around certain people. but... i'm working on it!
soulpancake.com go there, read, speak, enjoy!
this goes with the above website... Rainn Wilson (he plays Dwight on the Office), he was on Oprah's Spirit podcast yesterday and he was an amazing listen. If you have iTunes and/or the desire to hear his words on his website "soulpancake" then you should give it a listen. This also made me think about the entire first part of this blog entry. I had never heard of the "Bahai Faith" before yesterday. I am not a podcast listener. Some random force yesterday made me, asked me, lured me... wanted me to listen/watch this podcast. I'm not a huge Oprah fan, i typically do not watch her show. But yesterday i clicked "play" and my mind was opened to a whole new world of faith out there. It is a neat feeling to know there might be a place out there for me after all... a place that holds the beliefs and faiths of every religion and is OPEN to all religions and a place that will not look down if you do not conform to their one book :o)
on a random extra - i took my newly "wrecked" car in to the dealer last Friday, they told me to drop my car off on Tuesday (today). I thought i would drop it off early and they never ordered the part for my car! So random. But now i will be without my car on different days this week. I'm guessing there is a reason behind it that i am just unaware of, but it still totally stinks that they goofed like that.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Today, i only have one etsy find (as seen above). Normally i post things that i find, like, and want to pass along for others to buy and love.
Today, i post something that i will be buying for my hubby! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... probably more like awhile down the road because of all of the moving mess! Hubby loves Rubix, he can solve it in 35 seconds (when he has been practicing).
So this is my one and only find for today because it is so exciting of a find for me! Thanks goes to Sophism Press for showcasing this art work on her blog.
Ok, i can't see myself pulling a "Michael Jackson" and wearing a surgical mask around everywhere. But i sometimes wonder how people go through life being so disgusting. I am not an extremist germaphobe, but i do wash my hands before i eat. If someone is sick, i would prefer to not sit around chatting with them. Stay home, feel better.... call me when you aren't coughing all over my food/drink. ;-) I have had a sick child for almost a month now, she just wants to hang all over me and keeps coughing in my face. I have to let her hang on me because she is my child and i love her... but strangers or even friends, how do you nicely say "take your germs elsewhere"?
Hubby jokinly explained the issue of "spreading the wealth" today during breakfast.
Me: what are you doing?
Michael: I'm squishing the blueberries around so when i take bites it is spread around...
Me: uh, ok...
Michael: you've gotta spread that wealth...
Me: what are we Obama now?
Michael: i'm just trying to explain the oatmeal situation here...
Me: *drops blueberry into his bowl*
Michael: now look what you did...
Michael: you've added another huge blueberry to the mix
Me: *drops a spoonfull of oatmeal into his bowl*
Michael: ya killin' me here.... how's this one big blueberry suppose to pay for all of that extra oatmeal now? Gotta spread that wealth, but not too much.
stupid stray cat got into our garage... and peeeeeeed, everywhere! But where? yuck... the house is starting to smell like cat pee. That's the last time i feel sorry for a stray cat. ugh! i hate the smell of cat pee.
What in the world.... yes, our world. I'm starting to wonder about people. Just the ordinary average people. I look around at how people are living their lives. Probably out of my own boredom, but i honestly do care. For the most part, people are going on about their daily lives while other people are suffering in this down economy and just this spiraling down life-style on our planet. They are not paying attention to the world around them. It only takes 1 act of kindness to make a difference in another persons life. What act are you going to do today?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today another mom wrecked into the back of my car. Today yet another mom was looking down as she drove through the school parking lot, and admitted it to me (again) that she was just not looking up while she was driving. Today i wish i could stand out in front of the school with a sign and scream my frustration.... have a sit in.... have a protest... something to get these parents to wake up and pay attention as they drive.
My car was bumped into. My bumper cracked in half. My pride was hurt because hubby was in the car (again!) and (again) he says that my overly cautious driving is what caused yet another person to ram into me from behind. My being at a complete stop, on a road, with a stop sign, and not going super fast and cutting people off who are on the other road... that i caused this wreck. OK, so my pride was hurt (again). But the parents drive like they are in the Indy 500 (if you are not originally from Indiana - look up Indianapolis 500 to get that reference). These parents drive like crazy, pull up, drop off their children, and then speed off into the parking lot and then onto the main road. My only hope is that they never hit a child. My only hope is that they never cause such a wreck that any person is hurt. My pride will heal. My car will be fixed. My opinion of these parents, will not.
The Great Depression. I keep hearing people on the news saying we are in a recession. They say that if things do not turn around we will be in a DEpression. So i keep thinking about how people acted during the Great Depression. Sure there were some bad people, but on the whole neighbors looked after neighbors... family looked after family. And on the whole people just did all that they could do to help their fellow man through the hard times. We now have BIG government, so we do not see "soup kitchens" like you would have back in the day. People now go on welfare and get food stamps. It is a much better "set up" than the 1920's.
Currently we are living off of our savings. We have no income coming in. We did not expect to be in this place in our life a year ago. 1 year ago... it seems like a lifetime away from where we are today! Michael was working at SIA. He was leaving on Sunday morning and he would then be gone all week and return the following Saturday late afternoon. We only got to see him for a few hours before he left again. WE made the choice. WE put ourselves in our current position by making a family choice for him to branch out and go on his own with his company. WE are not to blame for the economy going bad and making our grand plan turn from awesome to... not so awesome. But we do not place the blame for us having our living conditions be what they are... WE made a choice and it turned out not to be such a good one. So we are having a hard time even thinking of any kind of a "hand out" at the moment.
Where we go from here... we'll if you know me or if you follow me, you know we are heading West. We are selling our house, picking up from the mid-west, and transporting ourselves to California. It is a BIG move and a HUGE change. But we are hopeful for making this change happen for a better life for us all.
I have been thinking recently about this "recession" and wondering if in 5 years when we all look back if they will say it was greater than a recession and perhaps a "depression"... and will we all look back and say, "i lived through it... and it wasn't too bad..." Or will things actually get worse and we end up looking back with a grateful attitude and be just so thankful that we made it through such a hard time. My great-grandmother died a few years ago. But i remember her one time saying that the Great Depression was something she "lived through" and that it was "impossible times" but that she was so grateful for all that she had in her life each day since then. She lived to be 98 years old. She lived a long life and the depression was something she never forgot. Perhaps i am not seeing our situation in such a bad light because we prepared (as best as we could) for the situation we are in right now. Others may have not been so lucky to have thought ahead or prepared for the worst and losing their job caught them off guard? Perhaps one day when we are back to our very nice life style we will look back and think "wow... i can't believe we lived without so much!"
For now, i am humble... i am grateful for all of the things that i do have in my life. i can only look to the future with an open mind and a feeling of optimism for having a better future.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
When i was younger i liked to watch the old black and white Tv shows. The Dick Van Dyke show, Mary Tyler Moore show, Bewitched, etc. I remember watching and not really thinking too much about it until i was an adult. The adults slept in 2 seperate twin beds!
Now, if you had this set up today... they'd say you had marital problems and they would quickly suggest that you seek marital therapy! But at what point (my guess it was the sexual revolution of the 60's) did it become abnormal, unusual, strange, un-hip even, to sleep in seperate beds?
My husband snores. And i do not mean that light sometimes cute noise you see people doing on a Tv show. I mean, S. N. O. R. E. - SNORE! I wake up several times a night and he will be laying right in my face/ear and snoring very loud... to the point of shaking the bed lol He is also a blanket puller. Not a gentle tug. No no, while he is sound asleep, he will TUG the blankets over to his side of the bed, again, waking me up. He is a sound asleep scratcher. He will scratch his arm, his leg, he butt, his balls... his anything! It's like an asleep dog, only i do not think my husband has flees! God, i hope not!
With all of that going on, i am suppose to get a good night sleep. Yeah, right. ;-)
I think that the parents of the 40's and 50's had it right. Human beings were not meant to "sleep" in the same bed. It just can't be done and have a good night sleep. I'm not going to go into the "sex" topic... but i will add, yes, having sex in a single bed (let alone a twin bed) can be done ;-)
We are showing our house tonight. I am all nerves on the inside about it all. It is our first time selling a house, the first time we will be showing the house, i'm a total newbie and freaking out with questions!
Claire went back to school today. I always worry when she has been sick and goes back to school. I make sure she has water/juice all day to keep her cough under control... will the teacher? I make sure she has tissues with her so if she needs one she doesn't have to get up and walk across the room... will the teacher? I make sure if she needs a break because she is feeling light headed due to having her sinus' draining (she gets that with a cold) i make sure she gets a break and sits down for a minute.... will the teacher? Probably not. Her teachers at the school are amazing, but they are not her mom. I might over do the love and being there for her when she is sick, but i think it helps when a kid is sick.
My favorite movie, it's cheesie, it's dorky, and probably not my favorite anymore.... but it once was a favorite movie - anyway it arrived in the Netflix mail today! I'm excited to watch it. Oh yeah, it's from 1980 - The Private Eyes, good movie... funny movie! But only if you like silly movies from 1980 ;-)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
image taken by Rachel Devine
Remember that age where you didn't see beauty?
Remember when your best friend had bright orange hair, millions of freckles, and you wanted to look just like her, so you drew little dots on your face to look just like her...
Remember when you wore whatever shoes you wanted, heck forget about the shoes just ran out the door to go play!
Remember when you did your own hair and dressed yourself at age 4 and all of your little friends thought you looked "beautiful"...
Remember when you would just say the word fart and you would giggle for 10 minutes... someone might "tinkle" in their undies... all from laughing so hard about a silly word!
Remember looking past who your new friend at the park had for a parent/family, and just went running around having a great time...
Remember not caring or even understanding what religious affiliation your friend had, you just had a blast playing with them and only noticed they were different than you at Christmas, but honestly it did not even make a difference because she was your friend no matter what her faith was....
Remember the joy of just having these kinds of friends who loved you just for the fact that you were the same height, age, and playing in the same play area that they were...
I've been struggling with the issue that, people on a whole, bug me! lol Once you become an adult the innocent life of having a friend flies out the window. People take notice of your appearance, the church you attend, the car you drive, the purse you carry, the shoes you wear, the people you know, and all aspects of your life. I often long for the days where meeting new people was as easy as going to a park, running around from the swings to the slide and someone just joining in with you and just for that day... they were your bested friend ever.
Imagine going up to a stranger as an adult... your in the store shopping, you see they are buying Organic too, you strike up a conversation with them over it and then follow them around and do your shopping together. Uh, if someone did that i would call security on them! lol It isn't as easy to meet new people once you are out of school. Your guard goes up and strangers are just that... strangers. They are no longer "potential friends". It takes an effort to get to know someone and call them, friend.
I don't have many friends because i consider myself very private and i like to keep to myself and keep my personal family a bit private. But the friends that i have made here in this town are the ones i have built the last 15 years of my life with here. I know that i will not build friendships right away once we move, but i am starting to feel that feeling of... fear?.... wondering?... emotional pulling? (words are escaping me for how i feel exactly) how will i deal with day to day things when i do not know anyone where we are moving that i can just call up. I have my brother and his new wife, but she only speaks a little English. And my brother and i are close, but not BFF's. It will be a new experience, knowing no one that i can just turn to to ask a question about the local life.
My new best friend... the Tom Tom GPS system!! I wonder if it has a sexy male voice or am i stuck only with the "sexy" female voice on that thing ;-)
Monday, March 2, 2009
I am making this for a luncheon, Watermelon Ginger Limeade!
I almost could not pick just 1, but the one above is the one i picked! Such cute TEA towels... Mr. PS store on etsy
The Black Apple etsy store
Make Pie... Not War Shop on Etsy
Tiny Wallet - Made by Hank Etsy Store
Cake Stand - Functional Pots Etsy Store
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Imitation is the best form of flattery, right? But what do you do when your kids have role models that lead them down the wrong path? I seriously doubt that there are any kids out there looking at a hobo and saying, "cool that will be me one day!" But these days you have people like Hannah Montana, Sam and Carly (on i Carly), Alex (on Wizards of Waverly place), and the list goes on and on. These are who our kids look up to, immolate and want to become one day. They are played on channels like Disney and Nick who should have a "squeaky clean" image... and should be playing more down to earth 7th heaven style children, but if you really sit down and watch the shows (the girls that my child watches, daily!) they are not good examples for growing up without having a major attitude.
I have been having issues with my 9 year old this entire school year. It has been a slow progression to "attitude" and it was not until i had lunch the other day with a friend that it hit me, and boy is she right. She has banned these shows from her home because of the way the kids act on the show. So i sat and thought about how i grounded my child from practically everything she owns to try to combat the attitude this year. But i had not really taken a look around at her environment to see if the problem could be found somewhere else. The majority of her friends are super sweet, so i couldn't pin-point any issue outside of just her giving attitude.
When i say attitude, i do not mean arguing and yelling and her being pure bad. But when your child is 9 and giving you that *look* of "give me a break mom, don't tell me what to do" when instead they should be saying, "i'm sorry"... "i understand"... or anything else that should be coming out of their mouth and less about that look on their face. There have been a couple of instances when she has gotten a little rude and snapped something not nice for her age. Something i would expect from a 15 year old not a 9 year old. And i am of the mindset that too many parents let their children walk all over them. I have seen it so many times where the kids control the room all because the parent doesn't want to just take the time to be a parent... they want to remain in that "friend" roll.
So Friday i banned the shows that have the teenage girls with their know-it-all attitude, their give me my way wording, and just bad examples. We'll see how it works out in our home.