Tuesday, November 17, 2009

love hurts, but it's worth it.

it sounds strange, but it is true.
there should be a class to teach about the feelings of love!

When i was in 6th grade i was "in love" with a boy named Bradley. He was so dreamy!
When i was in 7th grade, his name was Chad. Chad broke my heart.
In 8th grade his name was Andy, oh i was so young for Andy!
in 10th Grade i was once again "in deep love" with a boy... he turned out to be a stalker, but my heart didn't see it.

My mom wasn't really the best at explaining love and relationships to me. And my older sister would rather steal from me or beat me up than share her wisdom. So i was pretty much lost in the land of love and how to love and what it meant to love and be loved.

I think there are probably more kids than we realize who are unaware of LOVE. i don't mean the "i love you mommy and daddy" kind of love, but the "i want to spend the rest of my life with you (or at least the next few months of our relationship)" kind of love. To tell a person that you love them with those feelings is a very big deal. Then there is the love you create by bonding with a close friend. i never fully grasped love as a kid - i loved everyone! I told everyone that i loved them and didn't think much about it. i was a free spirit with my love and just gave it away all of the time. Now i am very guarded of my love and the use of the word love. Almost to a point where i do not share it enough.

Love hurts! and through the years i have come to understand that be it a friend or a family member or even in the past a boyfriend - when you put love out there and it gets beat up a bit, you lose part of that love and it is hard to get it back. i spent several years holding in my love and only sharing it with those that i truly felt deserved it (mostly hubby and my kid). But slowly i have been trying to put myself back out there by telling people that i care about - that they are loved by me, that they mean something to me as a friend or a family member. I've been hurt bunches in this adventure of putting myself back out there. But i am learning!

If only they had a class in school about love. How to love. How to be loved. What love is exactly... maybe there would be less pain in the world?

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